I started thinking today about weddings. Specifically, I’ve been thinking that I’ve only ever been in one wedding. It was years ago when my best friend from the second grade got married after our high school graduation. That was maybe a 10 years ago or 15 (or something like that).
Am I such a bad friend that I’ve not been close enough to anyone else that they would ask? And, when all of the people who have been in weddings complain about all of the responsibilties, why would I feel like I’ve been denied the experience?
I know that it seems silly. I have a few close friends, most of which were married when I met them. So, it’s not like I’m lacking in social interactions. I just have to wonder what is it about me that keeps people at a distance?
Is it me that has prevented more friendships from deepening? I am incredibly guarded – as the fear of rejection keeps me from opening up too much.