Fairy Tale Mom
#25 Pray Daily
JERUSALEM - APRIL 10:  Armenian clergy hold a ...

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I’m getting so much better at praying daily. When I first added it to my 40×40 list I really struggled with knowing when or why or how to pray. While I never struggled with Who to pray to (I conquered that question years ago) I just couldn’t get in the habit of doing it every day. And, on the occasions that I did remember to pray, I didn’t ever really know What to pray for.

It would be easy, I suppose, to say that prayers of gratitude were abundant and the most obvious choice. But, for me they weren’t easy or abundant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my many, many blessings. I’ve prayed for them and about them often. (Dear Jesus, that you for allowing me the opportunity to continue loving the princess.)

The other obvious choice is to pray for guidance. I did this fervently and often. I prayed for signs. I prayed for divine intervention. I prayed for guidance. I begged to help with troubling decisions. I once found myself pleading with God for an hour straight, crying the whole time, for answers to questions I hadn’t yet formed.

Then, I spent a whole lot of time praying for the wisdom to know when God was speaking to me. Confession – I still pray this prayer quite often.

After 2 years of working at building a relationship with God strong enough for me to speak to Him daily, I don’t know that I’ve gotten any better at the substance or timing of my prayers. What I can say, with certainty, is that I know that just trying is enough – even though it doesn’t feel like enough. Even while I feel tiny and silly for asking God to care about my insignificant problems, I know now that He already knew. My prayer for help and wisdom and patience and guidance were all an adequate and completely inadequate expression of gratitude.

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