Recently when my parenting skills were called into question, I took a few minutes to evaluate my parenting style.  I would like to think that I was somewhat objective in my self evaluation, but probably not really..  What I decided is that I am not a helicopter parent.  I do not hover and make decisions for the princess.  I want the princess to grow up to be independent and able to make decisions for herself.  When she goes off to college, I want to know I’ve prepared her to face the world on her own.  I really believe that I’m parenting the best possible way for her and for me. 

There are those out there who believe that I am too hands off, that I am too abrasive and that I should be more involved in all of her projects.  But, that’s not how I do things.  I prefer to help her understand the instructions or guidelines and let her do the work on her own.  We discuss the projects in detail and I make sure that I’m available for questions, but I never do her work.  I also don’t clean her room or do her chores.   She is required to help with the dishes and take care of her dog.  I want her to understand that she is capable of doing all things that she sets her mind to accomplish.  I also want her to understand that she has responsibilities.  She earns an allowance for completing her chores as expected and she does not get paid if the work isn’t finished.

This is not to say that I am not encouraging.  I am her best cheerleader.  I support her in the good decisions and counsel her through the bad.  My expectations are relatively on par for an 8 year old. 

What I determined is that although I choose to be a little more fluid with my parenting than others, my way may not work with all kids.  That being said, it’s the only method that I’ve got.  So, if you are hoping that I will not correct your child for misbehaving when you aren’t watching; do not expect me to be different than I am with my own child.  When you tell me this is harsh and uncaring, I will take offense.   And, that will damage our “relationship”.  I will also, however, take responsibility for my actions.   You do not need to hold my friends accountable.  Nor, do you need to unnecessarily retaliate against a group for my actions.  Although we parent differently, I’m sure we can find a way to co-exist.  What I’m saying is that you don’t need to un-friend me on facebook just because you think I’m a bad mom.