I love reading this stuff. I love looking at clothes I can’t afford (and shouldn’t wear in most cases). Still, it makes me happy. I’m going to keep doing it, judge if you must.

Here’s my issue today: inside the cover of this wonderfully enjoyable magazine is a list of what the Editor in Chief keeps in her makeup bag.. Even without the $88 fragrance, it’s 9 products at $300! Maybe I’m the crazy one, but that seems like way too much to pay for an eyeliner ($22).

Now, I’ve recently chosen a foundation that is a bit out of my comfort zone at $30. But, even with that luxury item, may daily routine products are $91. That includes moisturizer and cleanser. From making my face clean to covering it all back up, with 9 products, my total is 1/3 of hers. Maybe that’s in part due to geography. In her job in the industry there is a greater expectation than of me in the Midwest. But, can a $30 mascara work THAT much differently than my $6 version?

I could have this all wrong. Maybe those luxury purchases make all the difference in the world. My budget tells me that I’m going to have to figure it out for the Midwest price.

If you were curious, I’m reading Lucky today. It’s one of my favorites. While her makeup bag is outside of my price range, the magazine is a perfect lunch time treat for me.

Today, my mother called me to tell me that a week ago (A WEEK AGO!) my beautiful, amazing, talented princess told her that she is picked on at school, every day. EVERY DAY. She is made fun of because she doesn’t live in a big house. She doesn’t have an iphone. She doesn’t have all of the newest electronics. She only has one Northface jacket and only 2 pairs of Ugg boots.

I get it. They are all first world problems. And, she certainly isn’t lacking in luxuries. She has an ipod touch, her very own cell phone, the previously mentioned Uggs, we have internet and cable. She has been to Disney like 4 times. We go on vacation. She dances, that costs a ton of my income. We aren’t hurting. But, in comparison to her friends, we are the poor kids on the block.

And, because she is different, they found a way to make her feel bad about it. And, they tell her how fat she is. And, how fat her mom is. And, her mom is mean and won’t let her watch certain movies. And, she generally asks permission to do anything she is unsure of. She gets good grades. She is kind and gentle and sweet. It wouldn’t even occur to her to say mean things to people. Why are these little girls saying mean things about things that she can’t control?

I’m so angry at these little girls for breaking her heart. But, I’m really mad at the parents of these little girls for teaching them that its acceptable to be mean. I am really angry that this group of people has taught their children that the value of things, possessions, stuff, is more important than people. They break her heart every day, all over things she can’t control, instead of noticing how funny she is or how kind she is or how much she loves to laugh.

I’m saddened by our society. I’m saddened that she didn’t tell me herself. I’m saddened that she endured this for a nearly the whole year before I found out. I’m just sad.

I’m not a fashionista, but only becaus

Magazines, Connaught Place (Photo credit: prolix6x)

e I don’t have the budget. But reading that magazine (cover to cover including all of the beautiful glossy ads) made me realize that I had stopped taking care of myself. I had begun to settle for lesser products. I stopped buying shoes like I once had (and I love shoes, I mean love). This one magazine sparked in me a desire to take care of myself again. I want to try all of the fancy creams and new makeup techniques.

I want to wear pretty clothes that don’t involve mom jeans or practical shoes. I want to drink in every single word on those pages and take those hours all for myself. Then, I want to go back to being a mom. But, I want to do it with dewy, smooth skin and very pretty shoes.

It’s not as though I had forgotten how much I enjoy pretty things, I just quit prioritizing them. Well, no more friends. I continue my quest for the perfect skin care products and I’m back to shoe shopping. It may be on the sale racks, but I’m shopping.

That magazine brought me back to a joy in fashion and pride in my appearance. Those hours I spent reading that magazine (possibly more than once) are the best present I have given myself in years. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Ulta, yes, again.

Yesterday, we began our quest at the nearest Ulta store. (I will not deny my love of this mecca of all things beauty.) We had an hour and were looking for a BB cream. This BB stuff (beauty balm, I know you wanted to ask) has gotten tons of hype lately. Bethany chose one and gave it a try for the both of us.

It should be noted here that we are both fair (like nearly glow in the dark fair). She is an oily skin mix. I have normal to dry skin. The use of glitter in products is our favorite and we both want coverage. Bethany, very much unlike me, uses very little base or foundation daily. She uses an under eye concealer and an all over bronzer. I prefer full coverage, near mask like foundation. I use a moisturizer and bronzer. The rest is too detailed to mention.

Today she came in wearing Too Faced Airbrushed BB cream. The coverage looked great, almost airbrushed. Her skin tone match is “vanilla” something. While I was impressed with the look. She was not impressed at all with the feel. By the end of the day she was complaining of feeling greasy and shiny”. The product started to feel heavy. After a bit of research, we learned that this particular cream does not rate well with other users either.

The price point is a bit much for my liking at $39 . This isn’t a product that I’m running out to pick up. But, I will say that the coverage looked good on Bethany today.

The quest continues for exactly the right stuff for me. I’ll keep you posted on what I try and what works here. Maybe I’ll even go so far as to document this search with photographs.

The opinions expressed here all all mine and in this case completely second hand. Except for that of Ulta; I really do love that store. No one has provided product or compensation for mention here. I’m including

Ulta Beauty, 928 Eisenhower Pkwy, Ann Arbor, MI 48103, Canrbrook Village Shopping Center (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

a link to the product via Ulta. You may check out further details there.

http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod4980047#sku2254199

He used to be. He had a friend that he spent all of his free time with. They have been on vacations together. They had permanent weekend plans. They shared similar

English: Broken Heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

interests. We even saw him at holidays. Then, they had a falling out. It makes me as sad as it has made my little brother.

I should disclose that my brother is gay. His friend is also gay. They are not boyfriends. Which makes it so hard to understand why the falling out happened over my brother looking for an intimate relationship. It may have taken some time away from his best friend, but it certainly wasn’t the kind of relationship that the friend wanted in the first place. They had considered it. It wasn’t going to work. They moved on appropriately.

So, this falling out came at a bad time for my brother. Many, many things in his life are uncertain and in flux. He needs friends right now more than ever. To see Randy* walk away from my brother was devastating to me. My friends would have stayed. My friends would have made sure that I felt supported and comfortable during the time of transition. They wouldn’t have been jealous or threatened about my time being spent elsewhere.

Maybe the difference is in heterosexual relationships as opposed to homosexual relationships, but I don’t want to believe that. I think that true friends are there when you need them, regardless of the external factors.

*Name changed, just in case he falls back in to good favor. You never know about these things. Also, no body asked for me to put their story on the internet. It wouldn’t be fair to name them publicly.

gratitude. =) (Photo credit: camerakarrie)

Do  you know that feeling of being completely average? I’ve had that feeling most of my life. I’ve never considered myself to be spectacular or special or amazing in any way. I have a few redeeming qualities, I’m not oblivious to my talents. But, mostly I just kind of fly under the radar, don’t make waves and generally blend.

I’ve had two occasions in the past two days that made me feel down right special. How I got so lucky to have these events happen so close together I will never know. But I am more than grateful for people who took the time to say words that meant everything to me.

The first story starts with a sad event. My favorite professional mentor is moving away, like States away. This person  has been available to give advice about growing the business, motivating employees and finding the perfect song to lift the mood in my office. His counsel is always appreciated, his time is precious to me and his guidance is valuable beyond words. To hear that he wouldn’t be in close proximity was nearly devastating. I like knowing who I have in my corner should I need to seek advice, I knew he was in my corner.

When I asked the question, “are you really leaving?”, I was so relieved to hear the response, “I’ll always be available”. Ok, so now I can go on knowing that I still have someone to turn to for answers and advice. Whew. I felt better. Still sad, but better.

The very next day, I was in a meeting where my mentor also happened to be in attendance. I didn’t go fishing for compliments (I don’t do that often). I, again, expressed my gratitude for the help that was provided so freely and wished my mentor well in the new location. The response I got Made. My Day (like stupid grin on my face for the rest of the day kind of made my day). With no hesitation, and complete sincerity, this person looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m proud of you”.

Four tiny words. Really, just an instant in time. No one else heard it. Yet, that is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. I hope someday you know the elation of having someone you respect pay you a sincere compliment. It’s better than a good wine buzz. It makes you believe that you can do better. It was amazing.

The second story ends with me feeling equally as special. The day after those words of encouragement, I was doing what I do, helping people that walk into the office. Since that is my job and all, I was more than happy to oblige. It was a pretty big day for them. I helped them to complete their task (let’s just say they will be celebrating eliminating their biggest monthly expense by going to ITALY). I took pictures, congratulated them and made it a big deal. When they were leaving after their 45 minutes with me, the gentleman looks me in the eyes and says, “Before we walked in here, we prayed that we would find a kind and genuine person to help us. You exceeded our expectations. You were an answer to our prayers.” An. Answer. To. Their. Prayers.

I teared up in front of them. I don’t know that there has ever been a bigger compliment than that one.

Two great compliments in as many days? I don’t know that I earned them, but I will definitely take it and pour that energy into getting better at what I do.

Sometimes we use to many words to say absolutely nothing. And sometimes, using few words makes the biggest impact and means everything.

What is the best compliment you’ve received? I’d love to hear all about it.

I deal with the public. People come and go from my office all day long. Invariably I spend my time saying things like “Thank you for doing business with us” and “I’m so glad you came in today”. An unfortunately small percentage of the time do those words bear any weight at all. I am trying to be genuine. And, I certainly don’t mean to imply that it isn’t appropriate to be polite or exchange pleasantries. But, I also can’t tell you that I’m entirely full of joy to see each an every person I interact with daily.

Maybe this theory extends further. Even at home I say things that don’t mean anything. When I ask “how was your day?”, the answer rarely makes me stop and listen. I think it has just become a way to greet each other at the end of the work day.

A set of metal types (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Polite words like “thank you” and “please” are often used as examples for children, not expressed with any real reverence for the mannerisms that the words should convey.

So, I do all of this talking (and I do a LOT of talking), but how often am I actually saying something? Is it enough that by taking the time to gently speak my empty words that I am conveying a message to you at all? Maybe it is. Maybe by showing you that of all of the people in the world that I could be saying nothing at all to, I chose to speak to you.

I hope I’m not the only one who speaks empty words. Tell me how you use words to say nothing.

She is a willowy wisp of a girl. Her bones all jut out in an angular fashion, nearly extending beyond her very thin frame. You could count her ribs and trace her clavicle easily. She wore clothes that clung to her bones, almost like she was trying to highlight them. When she walked into the room it wasn’t possible to miss her, despite her slight stature. While she looked all sharp and pointy, she was entirely the warmest person in the room. She drew people in to the warmth in her soul. It wasn’t always reflected in her empty brown eyes, but her light permeated every corner of the room. Her biggest secret was her great love of humanity. She loved all people and all creatures. Her patience never wore thin and her own needs were always secondary to the greater good. Oh, she was good. From the first time her words wrapped them selves around a person they found themselves comforted like they were buried within a down comforter on a cold winter morning. She was brave and kind and gentle all in this firm and defined package.

The first prompt is to write 10 titles for books that I wish to write. Although I don’t know if I ever intend to write a book, it may be fun to make up titles anyway.

1. Things Better Left Unsaid

2. Keeping Up With Myself

3. Quit Wearing That

4. Unreasonably High Heels

5. Why I Didn’t Call

6. Margaritas and Other Fine Things (A recipe collection)

7. Put Down My Drink; It’s not for kids

8. Directions to Fairy Tale Land

9. Spending the Night

10. Equal Parts Awesome and Drunkity

I suppose a title needs a synopsis or a description. But, that wasn’t part of today’s assignment. The content of my imaginary books will just live in your imagination and a little bit in mine.

I wonder what you would title your imaginary book?

Books behind the bed (Photo credit: zimpenfish)